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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Top 5 Ways You Can Help the “Dad to be” When He Feels Nervously Wacked Out!

Dedicated to dads to be - on Father’s Day

Is Mom to be the only one dealing with pregnancy? No way.

Dad to be’s male brain is going through emotional, hormonal and physical changes too, sometimes even more than Mom.

It’s called the “couvade syndrome.” (Sympathy for the Mom? Maybe Dad too!)

Here are the top five ways you can help the dad to be:

1. Give him the facts, sympathize and surprise him with a gift.

Tell him what’s happening is normal and it happens for all dads to be. Some just get a bigger dose.

How does it happen? The woman’s sweat glands release pheromones that cause the male’s testosterone and prolactin to decrease.  Dad’s paternal instincts kick in, and his “Mr. Mom” hormones increase.

Normally you think about what gift you’ll get baby or a special treat for Mom. Well, don’t forget Dad, he needs some TLC more than you know. Even a small gift, such as a gift card for a free game of golf or even some golf balls or a “SPEND ONE DAY with ME on a hike” card for whenever he chooses to use it, can make the dad to be’s day.

2. Encourage him to eat and live healthy.

No lectures or diet plans suggested here, just make him some special healthy salads or dishes… maybe tuck in some healthy, easily prepared recipes that he may enjoy making now (especially if mom to be is experiencing morning sickness) and some he may want to prepare when Mom comes home with baby. 

Guys, you might even want to invite him to share a trial gym membership with you to relieve some of his new fatherly anxieties.

3. Talk with him, joke with him, laugh with him and rejoice with him about fatherhood.

Pass this onto the fellas ladies. Guys, take it to heart.

Dads to be need to share experiences with other dads.

Making plans for the family’s future including financial, spiritual and health decisions can reassure parents and grandparents, as well.

Don’t be afraid to share ideas for savings or wealth building, your own spiritual experiences or a really great family health plan. Just keep it on the light side, unless he is really interested.

He’ll also enjoy sharing some light-hearted jokes about fatherhood, some you-should-have-been-there moments and only-a-dad-could-know-the-joy times he can look forward to as a father.

4. Extend an offer of your future availability.

Being a dad is a big responsibility. Your extended offer of help is an invaluable gift.

The dad to be can find great comfort (though guys don’t always show it) in hearing another man, dad or not, say to him “If there is any way that I can help you in your journey as a father, I want you to feel at ease to call on me.”

Make sure he knows you mean it. Hand him a card with your cell number, your work number, etc., and make a committed bond for the future. He’ll appreciate this and it will reassure him that he’s not alone. 

Additionally, plan to remind him periodically in the future.

5. Lay down some cold, hard cash.

Money talks. 

For a new dad, it speaks volumes of gratitude.

When it’s time for baby’s birth or shortly thereafter, giving the new father a money gift for whatever is needed by he and Mom or baby is something they won’t forget. 

It’s a great way for the new family to enjoy special little things, such as a night out for dinner or new baby photos. 

Why not make it a point today to connect with a dad to be or new dad. You might well be one of his greatest supporters and  help him stay sane!

Me and my Dad (as a relatively new father)